was thinking abt alot of things in camp... 1st... thinking if i sld take up 6 modules next sem.. it means 6 days 6 modules... my frens are dropping one... used to think that i wanna give it a shot and try, but den now... dun wanna take 6 modules alone... was thinking abt it the whole night yesterday... guess now.. i will just drop.. coz think the core modules next sem quite tough... dun feel like overestimating myself... will start thinking which to drop now.. hai...
another thing.. in hall camp now... they went sentosa today.. but my roomie dun wanna go... so, as usual, i didn't go also. dunno y i cannot be more independent and move on on my own. dunno y i nv grow up and be independent... hai... actually i also dun really wanna go one.. but den somebody will be going.. u pp remember my crush in hall? haha.. thought i'm over him... but den hehe... u know wat la... actually he's not cute... but... frenster's open marriage mean? attached? hai... he used to put single... den change to in a relationship.. den now open marriage.. dunno y now change.. dunno who his gf is if he got one... dun even know him... feel so hopeless and helpless.. keep seeing him talking to my fren beside me but... we can stare at each other for awhile but den will look away next.... when he smile in my direction, i dunno wat to do... sld i smile back? i dun... den felt that i'm like so dao... he will just smile and look away... give me a feeling that he expect me to smile back.. but den how am i suppose to? i dun even know him... dun even know if he's smiling to me.. haha... in a state of confussion... haha... actually i wanna go sentosa is becoz of him.. coz he will be going w them... other den that.. i dun quite like sentosa now... dunno if i will get a chance to know him this yr... it's his final yr..
i guess independence is something i can nv be.. i will always need pp to tell me wat to do and make the decision for me... 6 modules? go sentosa? if only 1 day, i will make decision on my own and not care abt wat others say and be more confidence of myself...
1 comment:
yoz gal.. haa.. agree totally w the earlier 2 posts... hmm.. sometimes we hv to risk to be able to grow.. haa.. like u always say i'm always setting crazily impossible goals.. but well.. tt's wad spur me on i guess...now my new goal is to get single rm...hmm.. impossible? maybe.. but well i can make it possible! haa.. to a certyain extent i understand y u dun dare to go sentosa w/o her... it's like u dun qt noe the ppl there n such.. but wel.. we gotta learn to get outta comfort zone. in a ay, i tink im learning it in a hard way cos u 3 r all in hall 1.. now im alone oin hall 2.. hv to start to depend more on hall ppl n must get to noe them n mix w em.. anyway, i realli agree w janey.. cos u aint tt indecisive actually.. certain things u noe exactly wad u wan just tt u lack the confidence to do it.. dun b afraid dearie,.. we'll always b here 4 u... =) seriously.. we hv to b independent one day.. haa.. today is my 1st day.. hmm... as 4 ur crush.. haa.. juist smile la! wads wrong w a smile?! haha..
love ya!
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